So i nearly died today

getting hit by car sucks once the shock wears off. god it was fucking scary. i learned its pointless to hold grudges and that i should smile alot more. i should be alot more greatful and do more of the things i want to do. good thing i wrote a will a few months ago. the pain is really setting in and well atleast im prepared. this next part is just some personal random shit that probably wont make sense only to the people directed to u.u kinda like stuff not in my will.

1st: onee-chan if you ever see this i really do love you. you were the best friend i couldve ever asked for. like judas iscariot traded in silver, i traded in gold.

2nd: Angela, im sorry about everything. About us. i cant be dinner for you. i was only an appetizer. i loved you because you gave me strength when i needed it. i loved everytime we talked or texted, even if it was just for an hour or for the whole day. youre a great person. i hope your dinner is a well composed dish prepared only by the best. I love you and take care.

3rd: idiot if youre reading this explain the metaphor.

4th: not vivi, ill find another way to let her know how i feel.

ive said all i didnt write down. now to try and call jazmine one more time.